Entry Level Living

In the past year I have had the privilege of attending a variety of conferences and sitting in on some pretty important meetings ranging from nonprofit fundraising and marketing to curriculum development and student recruitment. While the topics may vary one aspect stays the same: I’m always the youngest person in the room.

To a certain extent this is to be expected. After all, I’m 22, fresh out of college, and am intent on making a name for myself. However, walking into a room full of people who have decades on you in terms of both age and experience can leave you feeling tongue tied and anxious. Over time, I have been able to get a grip and become more comfortable in this scenario.

1. Be clear on the shared purpose: Who is hosting? Why are you all there? What issues are being addressed? In other words, do some homework before you attend a meeting/conference so that you able to stay on point. Don’t be clueless—it shows.

2. Understand what you can offer: Once you have a handle on what will be discussed, reflect on why you are there and what ideas/perspective you can bring. For example, I notice that more and more people are interested in getting our generation involved in programs and organizations yet aren’t sure on how to grab our attention. This is great for me since Im always reading and writing about how our generation approaches life and work. This perspective is what I offer.

3. Be confident: Never ever preface a comment with “well I’m only one year out of college but…” Horrible. You’ve basically just said that you’re too young to have a full understanding of what the meeting/conference is about. Instead, say something like, “From my experiences as a recent college graduate…” that way you being insightful and sharing a unique perspective.

4. Make suggestions: Honestly, I hate comments like this “I just want to say that I completely agree with you” and the person proceeds to rehash what has already been said. What a waste. The assumption is that if there are no objections then everyone agrees. Besides, you sound like a lazy suck up. Instead, make specific suggestions or offer to take the lead on something.

5. Introduce yourself to at least one person: Don’t get stuck in the corner, wide eyed and confused. If you are shy or nervous go up to one person and have a genuine conversation with them.

6. Make sure to do a follow up: If you’ve been asked to take the lead on something, keep people abreast of your progress. If you have learned something new, put what you have learned into practice as soon as possible and thank the person who shared. At the end of the day it shows that you not only pay attention but also that you are eager to excel.

I know I know–I should have posted this sooner!!

I’ve been home in NYC with family for the past few days. It has been both relaxing and stressful! I apologize for the late notification–I left in a bit of a rush and will be back in a day or so!

Be easy!

In a little over two weeks it will be exactly one year since I graduated from college. In reflecting on the last year there are a few things that I would recommend recent graduates keep in mind when making the transition from college life to “the real world.”

1. It’s ok if you don’t know what you want to do right after you graduate. The biggest mistake you can make is going to grad school or picking up a job that doesn’t suit you because you feel like you need to have something to do once you get your degree. The debt and frustration simply aren’t worth it. Instead take inventory of your interests and start setting goals from there. As Brian Kim suggests: The time you have after college is THE TIME to find what you love to do. You are not burdened (I assume for the most part) with the heavy responsibilities of a mortgage, family, or dependents. You’ll most likely move back home or room with a buddy. He also has some great tips on figuring out what your passions are and putting them into tangible goals.

2. Do not invest everything in your first job. I am a victim of this: I walked into my job thinking it was going to be the greatest experience ever only to be incredibly disappointed. That’s not to say that you shouldn’t be optimistic about your opportunities, but remember this is your first job: it’s a first step into the workforce and a means of exploration as you figure out what kinds of work environments are best for you and the skill sets you want to develop.

3. Stay open to new possibilities. While having a degree may increase your chances of getting a job it does not entitle you to one. Keep your eyes and ears open for opportunities that will allow you to acquire skills and experiences that will make you stand out. Volunteer in another country, start a small side business, or learn a language. The world is bigger than your college so take advantage of it!

4. Actively maintain a strong social support network. If you are living in a new town away from home, go out and meet people–try volunteering or attending young professionals events (Ive met some awesome people through both). When you do make friends, make time for them. Remember, no matter where you go or what you do everyone needs friends.

5. Surround yourself with positive forward thinking people. Your best bet for professional and personal success is to weed out the complainers, the nay-sayers, and the overall unhappy people and search for people who are optimistic and intent on moving forward. People like this help you maintain perspective and challenge you to push yourself. These people are also the best mentors.

When I first started playing around with blogging, I was skeptical: I had no desire to post the minute details of my day nor read anyone else’s. However, in many ways that’s how most of us start out: we are inspired to write and want to give it a try yet really dont know where to begin so we write about anything. Blogging has allowed me to focus on my interests and has become a great space for reflection and connecting with others, yet building a great blog and finding your niche takes time. Below I list a few steps I took in order to become a better blogger: one who writes consistently with insight, authenticity, and contributes to broader discussions about a particular issue.

1. Figure out what you want to write about.

The wonderful thing about blogs is that because it is ultimately a personal endeavor, you are free to write about whatever you wish. However, this level of openness often leads to people getting bored or frustrated with their blogs and giving up. The key to prevent this is to have some focus in your blogging. Start by assessing what your interests are. What gets you excited? What do you do/read about on a regular basis on your own free time? And, most importantly, what can you write about consistently for a long period of time?

2. Read blogs in your area of interest.

Once you figure out your interest, search the net for people who have already started blogging on that particular topic. Not only will you expose yourself different perspectives on a certain topic but you will also see different writing styles and get a chance to observe how people interact with blogs. Also, reading other blogs will give you some ideas on what you can begin writing about.

3. Draft some posts before you begin to publish.

Open up a word document and start writing. Doing so allows you to take your time and space out blog posts so that you always have something ready to be published. If you want to build your readership, you have to publish several times a week, so having some pre-written posts will be helpful.

4. Choose a blogging format that fits your needs.

I’ve switched formats three times in the past 4 years because my social and technological needs have changed. I began using LiveJournal and Yahoo! 360 which are very insular: you can make your entries private or only accessible to people you have added on your list. As a result many of the blogs I read and wrote were pretty personal in nature. However, once I decided I wanted to write a blog about my life as a newbie in the professional world, I recognized that I would need a wider audience so I chose WordPress, which is not only public but also shows up in blog searches.

Further, different blogging formats have different tools and levels of difficulty. WordPress allows me to play with the layouts and navigation of my blog whereas LiveJournal and 360 all had the same standard layout with adjustable colors. Choose one that allows you the most comfort.

5. Join an online community to help you along.

It takes time to develop a good blog. Therefore, a good idea is to reach out to other groups of people in your phase of blogging. NING, a web tool that allows you to create online communities has several groups for bloggers. My favorite is Building a Better Blog where people share tips and experiences at all phases of blogging.

6. Participate in a Blog Carnival.

To get some readership as well as meet other bloggers who share your interests, I recommend participating in a Blog Carnival. You simply pick a topic and submit a post on that topic to whomever is hosting the carnival. Participating in a blog carnival also allows you to write with an audience in mind requiring you to be more focused.

7. Practice the Golden Rule.

Comment on other people’s blogs; be insightful and courteous; respond to people who leave you comments; share the love by linking to blogs you enjoy. Basically, do all of the things to other bloggers as you would want done to you. This will let you hone in on the skills necessary to creating a blog where people feel comfortable exchanging ideas and where you feel comfortable sharing yours.

8. Share a little of yourself.

The blogs I most enjoy reflect on their personal experiences in a way that is interesting and meaningful to others. The main point I try to get across in my blog is that I am always learning and enjoy sharing what I learn with others. So be real—share your ups and downs; voice your frustrations and your joys. It’s those experiences that ultimately make one blog different from the next.

My good friend Nat posted an interesting blog about internet dating. In general I’m a fan of meeting people online, however I think it’s making my F2F interactions more difficult.

Today on my way to work, a gentleman complimented me on how pretty I am and asked if I was taken. I smiled and said “yes” (even though I am so single I honestly think it seeps through my pores) and quickly looked away. He continued chatting with me politely and I continued smiling politely but my stomach was all in knots and after a few minutes he walked away.

I felt like such a dork. On the one hand, I can’t give my phone number to every Tom-Dick-and-Jamal that flashes me a smile and says I am pretty. In fact part of the reason why I am so reluctant to talking to men on the street is that—and I’m not tooting my own horn—it happens so frequently and so obnoxiously. Cat calls, stares, whispers and other adolescent attempts to get my attention do nothing but make walk away faster.

However, I can, at the very least be personable and friendly to people who are nice to me. Yet I also realize that part of my awkwardness stems from the fact that I meet all of the men I date online. Online dating really changes how I converse (or not converse) with men I see on a daily basis. Online, I can take my time and get to know the person via email and phone conversations. Men that I lose interest in or who I am not attracted to are washed away with the click of the delete button. Further, when we finally do meet, he has given me enough information about himself that talking in person is a piece of cake.

Yet when I meet someone on the street, there is no pre-established connection, no previews whatsoever. Everything is just on the fly—go with the flow.

In other words, there is no control. The internet gives me so much control over who I talk to and most importantly, whom I allow to talk to me.

Maybe I should ease up on using the internet and open myself to the unpredictable nature of F2F meeting.

Thoughts?