Strange Feeling

Lately I have had a really strange feeling.  One that I dont think I have ever really felt before.  It’s hard to describe but it feels like oddly exciting and powerful.

I think I’m starting to enjoy being single.

Now, this may not seem like a big deal, but for those who know me, this is major.  My friends call me anything from “boy crazy” to “boss player” because I tend to have so many men on my arm.  I’m known for being a flirt and the fact that I fall in love at least twice a day.  But lately not only have I been pushing men away, but I have also been ignoring most men who come at me.

Today a guy I’ve been seeing yelled at me over some nonsense and I just shrugged and deleted him (in the age of technology–blocking or deletion is akin to being pushed off a cliff).  I had an ad up on a dating site and took that down. Instead of playing coy, I’ve told men quite abruptly that Im not interested in seeing them.

The reason is simple: I’m preoccupied with moving forward.  I’m excited about my job and the opportunities it is presenting me.  The joy that my friends and family in NYC are expressing makes me even more eager to be moving back to NYC.  I’ve gotten emails from my college, high school, and junior high about ways to get involved and have been connected to a variety of professional organizations to help me really jump start my career.

The ho-hum and cat-and-mouse mentality of dating suddenly doesn’t appeal to me.  Whereas before I thought the chase and the silly games were cute, I now find them irritating.  The transition that I am making from intern/recent graduate to management/paying my own bills is nerve wrecking and exciting.  However, it demands that I have the best people in my corner to celebrate and cry with.  I’m feeling uplifted but am finding the whole dating scene to be a drag.

For the first time in a long time being attached to someone isn’t a priority.  It’s amazing how liberating that is.