Being Fat: Rant!
In the process of trying to get in shape I am coming across a lot of pathetic discussions about being overweight. Every single time I turn around there is a fat person giving some bullshit sob story about how “food is their only friend” and how they hate themselves, or some idiotic skinny person claiming to want their fat friends to lose weight so “they can be happier.”
Give.Me.A.Break.
First of all, I am fat. But I am not fat because I hate myself or because I am lonely and unhappy. Quite the contrary–my self esteem has sky rocketed over the past 4 years as I realized just how powerful and beautiful I truly am. In college I was isolated from the main stream media and surrounded by, well, nerds. Because of this I was forced to focus on, GASP, who I am as a person and all of my capabilities. It wasnt until I returned to the world of the do-nothings who sit in front of the TV all day that weight comes up constantly.
I am fat because I LOVE FOOD. Cultures manifest themselves in food. Emotions and ideas are presented in food. When I eat, I am eating because I am hungry and I am eating because I view food as fun and as medium for creativity and inspiration. I love the kitchen! So, when people go on and on about other people’s weight, I am annoyed at the arrogant assumption that I am a suicidal fat chick using food as a friend or a defense mechanism. If anything, I am often curious about these people’s motives. No one should lose weight because they feel guilty, unwanted, or unloved. There is nothing WORSE than seeing someone get on the treadmill in order to make someone love them. There is nothing more sickening to perfectly brillant people doubt their success and potential because of the size of their pants. What kind of world is that?
Of course people will come with the “but it’s for your health!” bullshit argument. Oh please. If you truly cared about someone’s health you would encourage everyone to exercise not just those who are visibly overweight. Your discussion would not include physical appearance but would focus on physical strength. You would quit assuming that my weight is some how a manifestation of self hatred and realize that if it is, it is because people think it should be. I am not ashamed of me, you are ashamed of me. So perhaps it is you who needs to do some reflecting…what does being fat mean to you? why are you so afraid/ashamed of it? What is your problem?
Many people have heard me say that I want to go to the gym and get stronger and more in shape. I want to see what my body can do. I am inspired by athletes and, honestly, those yoga people who can put their heads between their legs and lick their own asses! hahahaha. But seriously, strength is my goal. And my focus is coming after 4 years of reflecting on who I am and realizing all that I can do and become. So going to the gym is about me. Personal fitness is just that: personal.
great post
i was browsing blogs and i found yours by chance.
you have a great writing voice and i loved the points you made. as a lady with curves i know where your coming from and living in a fat nation i can see where THEY might be coming from but you know, im glad someone actually feels something substantial about themselves instead of feeding on a media fueled shock to the security system that most women use as cover.
you know?
i go on sometimes.
at any rate, your blog was fantastic.
thnks.
stephanie
As a fellow curvy chick and foodie, I concur! I am fat because I love food. I eat because food is good. I eat a lot (and feed people) because many of my best memories are around the dinner table or at other gatherings where the grill or the stove (and what is coming off of it) was the reason for the season.
I work out because it is fun and it makes me happy. I can look at my thick thighs and still call myself an athlete (on my better days when I give myself credit) My thick thighs have helped me race up mountains (or hills at least), and finish a 5k.
And to be really superficial, I happen to like the jiggle in my step, as do all the people doing double takes as I walk by
But ummm, its about your health…
ok I’m messin with ya since you brought that up in the blog. But seriously, its about your health. I’m glad that you’re confident in who you are and are not just another suicidal fat chick. Honestly, we have too many of those running around. Oh and trust me, I’m speaking here as a fat fuck myself with health problems related to my health.