Entry Level Living

A week ago I attended the 2008 graduation of my alma mater. At the ceremony I realized that I am a full year out of school and began to reflect on what this year has been. In a nutshell it has been disappointing. This isn’t merely because I am adjusting to the rules of work and the responsibilities of being an adult. I struggled with my first year out of college because I missed who I was allowed to be while I was in college.

I miss being challenged intellectually as opposed to being challenged simply because of my age. I miss being able to get money to do anything that I wanted on the condition that I learned something and that I share what I’ve learned with others. I miss reading all day and being surrounded by people who shared my interests. I miss being able to walk a few feet over and grabbing friends for a late night run to wawa or for a movie. I miss the support from professors and the high expectations many of them and staff members set for me.

The biggest struggle has been finding supportive people with my interests. The reality is that in many ways the “real world” sucks. I knew this coming into my college from one of the worst neighborhoods in NYC and I have realized this even more since graduating. It sucks mainly because people are stuck on getting by, getting through the day, getting what they need and going to bed. I’m starving for people with vision, with hope, and great strength of character.

It is exactly this characteristic–one of great hope and vision– that defines my college experience. I was fortunate in that many of my friends were active and critical. I tend to shy away from people who have no passion, who simply take things as they are, and are terribly uncritical. What a boring way to live, in my opinion. Nothing moves you? Stirs you? Gets you thinking? You dont have a vision for yourself? You just really wake up, work, eat, and go to bed….

I don’t want that kind of life. This desire prompted me to non-profits in order to make a difference but I have come to realize that the non profit world, which has garnered a reputation for being active and passionate, is really turning out to be full of turnovers, frustration, and dwindling amounts of motivation. Not to mention, ignorant self serving folks abound who really just want to pat themselves on the back for a job well done instead of actually being concerned with making change.

In many ways, in the past year I’ve been bored. Terribly, terribly, bored. If I’m not meeting people who seem quite content to live isolated from the world, then I’m meeting people who seem proud to be “set in their ways.” I’m thinking, gee you are 30, you have, if you play your cards right, at least another 40 years and you are already “set in your ways?” 40 more years of possibilities and already you’re done? There is of course a difference between stability and conviction versus being stubborn and closed minded. Too many people fall into the latter.

To make matters worse, I have people encouraging me not to care. Oh, Allison, they say, focus on yourself and forget the rest. I listen, nod politely, and walk away confused. The biggest barrier to, say, the eradication of poverty, doesn’t seem to be the big heads in the white house or the corporate offices. It’s the people in front of me who not only seem not to care but look at me funny for caring too much. I know, the nerve of me. Reading, thinking, talking, and walking; trying to at the very least leave my community better than the way I inherited it.

Then I look to church. I grew up in a very religious family and it is (subconsciously at least) impossible for me not to think about God. I look to Jesus, not the savior but the rebel. Not just a congregation of followers–a congregation of abolitionists, underground schools, and activists. I seek a spirituality that doesn’t just give me peace in a time of chaos but one that emboldens me to MAKE peace.

I’m 22 and am concerned with possibilities of my future and the world around me. Where can I meet some more people like that?

I have just begun my search for an apartment to share in Brooklyn and had the opportunity to visit a few places this past weekend. I find that hunting for an apartment is more difficult than hunting for a job since I am being judged solely on my personality. It makes sense—you want to live with someone who not only pays rent on time but who is also pleasant to be around. So instead of asking me questions related to my productivity and ability to excel, I’m being asked if I like pets or if I’m 420 friendly.

But moving to a new city, especially a city like NYC requires more than just a nice personality. While searching for a place I realized that there are many things that I never really thought about including total living expenses for the first month of relocating, what I can and cannot deal with in a roommate, and what kinds of facilities I need access to on a regular basis. Therefore, to make the best out of your apartment search the key is to plan ahead. I’ve broken down the search into six tips you should keep in mind when relocating to the big apple.

1. Be prepared: You increase your chances of having a smooth transition if you prepare yourself financially.

• Have a job. Having a job before you move has the following benefits: 1. You can set a more realistic budget for yourself (check out paycheckcity.com. Select the state and city then input your gross pay and exemptions. It can deduct taxes and show your take home pay). 2. You have a better sense of what neighborhoods to look at. 3. You have income to count on. 4. Many landlords want proof of income (or a guarantor stating they will pay for you if you are a student).
• Have money saved up. People usually save up for the move in—I recommend saving for the first month of living in the apartment so you don’t have to stress while waiting for your next paycheck. Most apartments will want at least first month and security. A decent room may run you about $700 so I would save at least $1800 for the move in, utilities (if not included) and food. If you need furnishings add another $500 to that.
• Give yourself some time. Especially if you are coming from afar—at least a month. People want to be able to see you and get in touch with you if they have any questions or some new information arises. Additionally, places tend to go quickly so I would recommend allocating at least a week to solely spending time in the city looking for a place.

2. Think of your budget for renting—then add 25% more: Shit happens. While most problems will be covered by a landlord, having an AC in the summer, appliances breaking down, suddenly ruined furniture, and a host of other problems will be your responsibility. It’s good to have about 25% of what you plan to spend on rent and utilities set aside for sudden events. And in general, things always cost more than we expect.

3. Know where to look: With so many people wanting to call New York their home there are a variety of resources available to assist people in the move mainly in the form of affordable housing options. Below is a list of websites, compiled by Citi-Habitats that can help you in every step of the way as you try to make NYC your home:

• The Actors Fund (www.actorsfund.org)
  The Actors Fund works in many ways to help its constituents find affordable housing. Check out the I-lousing Resource Center and the Housing Bulletin Board (with new listings added every couple of weeks) to learn more about the fund’s residences and housing seminars.
• Citi Habitats (www.citi-habitats.com)
  Citi Habitats is just one of many reputable licensed real estate brokers in New York, but it’s one of the largest, with more than 900 employees, offices throughout Manhattan, and housing in every price range. But brokers in outer-borough neighborhoods are easy to find online; just type in the neighborhood of your choice and “apartment broker.”
• Common Ground (www.commonground.org)
  Common Ground’s mission is “to end homelessness through innovativeprograms that transform people, buildings, and entire communities,” but the organization also assists working people with lower incomes. Visit the site to learn more about its affordable housing options.
• Manhattan Plaza Tenants Association (www.mptenants.com)
  Manhattan Plaza doesn’t have a website of its own, but on the site of the Manhattan Plaza Tenants Association, which serves current residents, you’ll find information about the residence and its waiting list.
• NYC Affordable Housing Resource Center (www.nyc.gov/housING)
  The city’s official site offers information on all aspects of housing, including renting an apartment, buying a home, and maintenance issues. Be sure to check the site regularly for a list of the city’s affordable-housing lotteries.
• Craigslist (newyork.craigslist.org)
  This massive free market of online classified ads has become a topresource for finding apartments, sublets, roommates, and everything else under the sun.
• New York City Housing Development Corporation (www.nychdc.com)
  The FIDC finances the development and preservation of affordable housing in New York. Click on “Apartment Seekers” for a list of buildings with available apartments, future developments, income requirements, and other info.

4. Word of mouth is much better: While the resources above are certainly helpful, being referred to someone who is looking for a roommate or renter by a mutual friend gives you an instant leg up. Tap into alumni networks to see if they know of any opportunities. Post that you are looking for an apartment on twitter, your blog, facebook, myspace—any place that people read so that friends know you are looking and can keep you in mind if they hear of anything. If you have landed a job, ask them to put you in touch with people who are also looking or who have openings. The more people who know that you are searching the better.

If you don’t know many people, go to the actual neighborhood where you are considering moving and check out libraries and community centers for postings. And don’t be afraid to ask the doormen/receptionists at apartments if they know of openings in the building or in the neighborhood.

5. Be real: This is not the time to pretend as if you can deal with cats when you are allergic, or that you are a social butterfly when you are really a cave dweller. Nor is it the time to pursue apartments/rooms that are so far out of your budget you leave yourself open to financial disaster. Your home is your sanctuary and should be a place where you feel free to truly be yourself and be at ease—in both an emotional and financial sense. Below are some great questions from So You Wanna… that you should ask yourself AND your potential roommate:

• Have you ever had a roommate before? What if anything bothered you about your past roommates?
• Do you have a boyfriend/girlfriend or other friend who will be staying here frequently?
• Are you promiscuous? (Do not be afraid to ask this one. You probably don’t want strange people sleeping over a lot.)
• Do you smoke? Drink? Do drugs? If yes to any, how often?
• Do you stay out late on weekdays?
• Did/do you have any credit problems?
• Do you have any pets?
• What is your occupation?
• What do you like to watch on television? What music do you listen to?

6. Get over Manhattan: People tend to come to NYC with the expectation that their lives will be like something from Sex in the City or Friends. Get your mind away from the cosmos and cafes and remember that NYC has FIVE BOROUGHS—Brooklyn, Manhattan, Queens, Staten Island, and the Bronx. Further, there is so much more that goes into finding an apartment including access to supermarkets and laundromats, length of lease, cost of utilities and more. When choosing an apartment ask the following questions, again from So You Wanna…:

• How long is the lease?
• Do you have the option to renew?
• How large of a deposit will you be required to leave as security?
• Are utilities included in your rent? Which ones (gas, electric, water, cable, etc.)?
• Are you allowed to keep pets in the apartment?
• Are you allowed to sublet if you go away?
• What sort of security does the building have?
• Does the building have laundry facilities?
• Does the building have a super or some sort of arrangement for repairs?
• Does anyone else have keys to the apartment?
• Do you need special permission to make superficial changes, i.e. painting or hanging picture?

Side: How do I establish a budget for relocating to New York?

Most people recommend that you set aside 1/4 to 1/3 of your monthly pay to housing costs. This is certainly one part of the budgeting equation, but I also realize that to get a better grasp on how much I can spend on housing I need to look at my total cost of living. I use the budgeting tips from All Your Worth, a personal finance book. In a nutshell, your budget should look as follows:

• 50% of monthly pay goes to MUST HAVES: rent, utilities, healthcare, food, student loans, and other obligatory payments. These are the basics you need for survival and couldnt go very long without.
• 20% goes to SAVINGS: directly to your savings account or making extra payments on debts (since doing the latter will save you money in the long term).
• 30% goes to WANTS: entertainment, shopping, food, lattes, and all the other fun stuff you like.

Granted this kind of budget isnt easy and I am grossly oversimplifying here, but I think it is a great start for creating and maintaining healthy finances. Destination Money Balance has more information on this type of budgeting and The Single Edition (an online magazine for Singles) has money saving tips for lean living.

Side: What if I want to move right now but don’t have much time or money?

Hit up networks you already have and ask to crash while you look for a place. If you can’t find a friend, sign up on CouchSurfing or look for short term places to stay (i.e. sublets) on craigslist. The nice thing about sublets is that they require little upfront money and allow you to search for permanent employment and housing.

I guess I’m a rare breed. I’m a New Yorker who understands why people don’t like this city.

I’m moving back to NYC because I need the social support of my friends and family and the opportunities that I have to develop myself professionally are unparalleled (seriously, Im 22 and Ill be a Director of Development and Marketing). I do believe that if you can make it here, you can make it anywhere.

On the other hand, NYC isn’t for everyone. Many of my family members have left the city with no plans to return. And as I prepare to move back, I’m reminded of some of the reasons I left in the first place:

1. NYC = Racism’s 9-5: The biggest selling point about NYC is that it is so diverse. Let me tell you something, my neighborhood was all black. Next door all Jewish. A few blocks up, all hispanic. We didn’t hang out and we didn’t play nice. It was an antagonizing experience. And that’s just on a personal level. Sean Bell and Amadu Diallo show racism on an institutional level. And in case you missed it, a black high ranking off duty police officer was stopped by white cops. That should tell you something…

2. Back off—that’s mine! You’ll see this kind of attitude related to damn near everything: jobs, items at the store, and seats on the train. It’s one big competition for even the smallest things.

3. I hate my life. People work too hard and love too little. I’m generally a happy person. While in New York people have assumed that I am from another city because I’m so cheerful. What does that tell you?

4. “Like, omg, the oppression of today’s modern societies…” and other hipster/yuppie nonsense: They’re coming—and fast. Talking about shit no one cares about and raising rents while pretending to be low maintenance and *down.* Not to mention being, yawn, booooooring. If you are going to change the city at least be interesting.

5. We own the city so deal with it! This should be the transit motto. I’ve yet to have a weekend of efficiently running trains. Politeness and great customer service from a transit worker? HA! That’s funny. This coupled with increasing fares pretty much means transit will continue to screw us over. And there is nothing you can do about it.

6. Guns and brawn: There is nothing remotely peaceful or pleasant about seeing cops and troops on trains and streets. Yes, I know it’s to “protect our freedoms” but it’s stressful, especially since I was here on 9/11. The greater the cop/troop presence the more real the threat feels. It’s scary. I don’t want to stay in a place that’s at the forefront of the Holy War.

7. Achoo! Oh, I sneezed on you? Well stop standing under my nose! New Yorkers live up the rude stereotype—and proudly. I’ve never met people who view rudeness as a positive attribute (well, except in Philly—I hate it here too). And I have never seen so many people at one time. In fact, often times you will be standing under someone’s nose. It’s terribly crowded.

8. Awww look at the cat…wait…that’s a rat! Yes. They are that big.

…and dont get me started on the roaches.

In a little over two weeks it will be exactly one year since I graduated from college. In reflecting on the last year there are a few things that I would recommend recent graduates keep in mind when making the transition from college life to “the real world.”

1. It’s ok if you don’t know what you want to do right after you graduate. The biggest mistake you can make is going to grad school or picking up a job that doesn’t suit you because you feel like you need to have something to do once you get your degree. The debt and frustration simply aren’t worth it. Instead take inventory of your interests and start setting goals from there. As Brian Kim suggests: The time you have after college is THE TIME to find what you love to do. You are not burdened (I assume for the most part) with the heavy responsibilities of a mortgage, family, or dependents. You’ll most likely move back home or room with a buddy. He also has some great tips on figuring out what your passions are and putting them into tangible goals.

2. Do not invest everything in your first job. I am a victim of this: I walked into my job thinking it was going to be the greatest experience ever only to be incredibly disappointed. That’s not to say that you shouldn’t be optimistic about your opportunities, but remember this is your first job: it’s a first step into the workforce and a means of exploration as you figure out what kinds of work environments are best for you and the skill sets you want to develop.

3. Stay open to new possibilities. While having a degree may increase your chances of getting a job it does not entitle you to one. Keep your eyes and ears open for opportunities that will allow you to acquire skills and experiences that will make you stand out. Volunteer in another country, start a small side business, or learn a language. The world is bigger than your college so take advantage of it!

4. Actively maintain a strong social support network. If you are living in a new town away from home, go out and meet people–try volunteering or attending young professionals events (Ive met some awesome people through both). When you do make friends, make time for them. Remember, no matter where you go or what you do everyone needs friends.

5. Surround yourself with positive forward thinking people. Your best bet for professional and personal success is to weed out the complainers, the nay-sayers, and the overall unhappy people and search for people who are optimistic and intent on moving forward. People like this help you maintain perspective and challenge you to push yourself. These people are also the best mentors.

In an earlier post I talked about how my job doesn’t give me adequate opportunities to develop myself as a leader. My organization lacks structure and there is no motivation or inspiration resulting in me being less enthusiastic to be there.

Recently, I came across this great piece by Ryan Paugh over at Employee Evolution. He states:

It was only a year ago when I first stepped into the corporate world. Like any optimistic twentysomething, I walked into my first day and gave my new responsibilities undivided focus and attention, trying to learn the ropes and taking every chance to prove myself.

As the weeks went by, my frustrations grew. I became not such a go-getter. I just got through the days. I came to the only conclusion I could–my job sucked.

But all of my friends were complaining about their jobs, too. It was definitely the job–not just me. So I started searching online for better career options, while plugging away from 9 to 5 every day.

Right before I gave up on finding another job, in came the offer to start Brazen Careerist. After considering my options – either stay at a job I hated or try something new – I decided to take a leap. It’s been a rollercoaster ride that’s taught me the most valuable lesson of all: I never really hated my corporate job. Instead, I now know that I just hated the transition I was making into the real world.

Is it my job or is it simply where I am in life? I just graduated from college and make no money. I’m not liking Philadelphia and am trying to be there for my family who is going through financial turmoil (like most of the country). I know it sounds like I’m whining but when I take a step back I realize that maybe I am putting too much into my job.

The reality is that I am living life. I no longer have my dean to run to when I’m too stressed to get my work in on time (I miss deadlines, I get in major trouble); I don’t have my best friends living next door to make midnight runs to wawa when we’re craving a snack after hours of studying (we no longer live close to each other and have to be up early for work in the morning); I can’t just send an email to my boss telling her I can’t come in to work that day because I am not feeling well (those count as sick days!). Financial hard times aren’t washed away with an additional loan (I have my credit score to worry about); I can’t hide behind a paper when my family calls (time to talk).

I still hold that my organization needs some revamping. However, I am also benefiting from assessing non-work related issues that are affecting my view of my job and making some negotiations about the role of my job in my life.

1. My job doesn’t need to be end-all-be-all place of my development as a leader. In fact, it shouldn’t be—especially since this is my first job. I’m using it mainly as a space to feel out where I want to go professionally. For example, if it weren’t for this job I wouldn’t have realized that I love curriculum development and organizational development and plan on pursuing these fields. However, I need not wait for a development position to acquire key skills for these fields. That’s why I am enrolled in a non-profit leadership training program and am pursuing a certificate in fundraising while helping my alma mater implement a great social justice program.

2. My job shouldn’t be the end-all-be-all of my life. This is my first job! How can I not eat, sleep, and drink the office? I need to make a good impression! Well, for one: work smart, not hard. And second, boundaries are key to a healthy job life (especially those of us in nonprofit work). Work shouldn’t consume you, regardless of your position on the corporate ladder. If there is anything that I learned about college that I can apply here is that my academic life seemed more manageable and less overwhelming when I had an active and supportive social life outside of school. Yes. I mean hanging with folks who weren’t in college. Now I hang out with people who have lives beyond what their job dictates. I can better see what else is out there aside from work.

3. Company matters: the company you keep makes a huge difference in how you handle that first job. I’m a huge fan of having a “Bitch Buddy”: that person you can rant and vent to about how awful the world is. However, this shouldn’t be the only person in your life that you go to talk about your problems. It helps to have positive people in your life who can show you the good in a situation and who teach you the value of letting the chaos of life roll off your back. When it comes to work, I was only talking to people who hated their jobs. Now I see how silly that was.