Entry Level Living

In an earlier post about being the youngest person in the room, someone made a great comment:

What do you suggest to do when it comes down to simple “chatting” or making friends? There seems to be so little in common with people who are 20-30 years your senior. I find that conversations start revolving around things that do not really matter to neither me (the youngest person) nor them. It’s definitely not a secret that if you are good company outside of work and can connect on something in common other than work, it will greatly benefit your business.

In my experience I find that people who are older than I am open up to me more once they see that I am a valuable employee who is interested in excelling and learning. However, making friends on the job never hurt anyone. So here’s how I managed to connect with the older people on my job:

1. Read the paper: Current events (especially local ones) are always spoken about at my job. It helps to be able to join the conversation.

2. Be genuinely interested: Ask questions about their professional life and slowly ask questions about their personal life. For example, “How did you get into this kind of work?” is a question that allows people to draw on professional and personal experiences. Once they share, highlight the value of what they say to you by offering a personal anecdote of how what they say applies to you or ask them to clarify what they say.

3. Be inclusive: Everyone likes lunch—so invite them out when you go grab some food. And if you are doing something new—whether you’re reading a book, taking a trip, or learning a new kind of technology—share! It’s wrong to assume that the generation gap is so large that you won’t find common ground or learn from each other.

4. Don’t be defensive: Every now and then a topic will come up and older employees will say subtly and not so subtly “You don’t know anything about this.” Children and marriage are the biggest culprits. Just excuse yourself from the conversation—you’ll only highlight how young you are. If the conversation is focusing on something you feel comfortable talking about, ask them why they think you can’t contribute and politely join the conversation sharing your experiences.

5. Accept the fact that the relationship may be more of a mentorship: While I understand that people our age have a desire to be friends with everyone, chances are someone who is 20-30 years older than you are is your supervisor thus making the friendship boundary a little difficult to cross. Additionally, think about what you talk about with your closest friends—now think if that would be appropriate for someone older than you. While you may not be buddy-buddy with the oldest people on the job it helps to have a positive working relationship with them that allows them to think highly of you in and out of the office.

In the past year I have had the privilege of attending a variety of conferences and sitting in on some pretty important meetings ranging from nonprofit fundraising and marketing to curriculum development and student recruitment. While the topics may vary one aspect stays the same: I’m always the youngest person in the room.

To a certain extent this is to be expected. After all, I’m 22, fresh out of college, and am intent on making a name for myself. However, walking into a room full of people who have decades on you in terms of both age and experience can leave you feeling tongue tied and anxious. Over time, I have been able to get a grip and become more comfortable in this scenario.

1. Be clear on the shared purpose: Who is hosting? Why are you all there? What issues are being addressed? In other words, do some homework before you attend a meeting/conference so that you able to stay on point. Don’t be clueless—it shows.

2. Understand what you can offer: Once you have a handle on what will be discussed, reflect on why you are there and what ideas/perspective you can bring. For example, I notice that more and more people are interested in getting our generation involved in programs and organizations yet aren’t sure on how to grab our attention. This is great for me since Im always reading and writing about how our generation approaches life and work. This perspective is what I offer.

3. Be confident: Never ever preface a comment with “well I’m only one year out of college but…” Horrible. You’ve basically just said that you’re too young to have a full understanding of what the meeting/conference is about. Instead, say something like, “From my experiences as a recent college graduate…” that way you being insightful and sharing a unique perspective.

4. Make suggestions: Honestly, I hate comments like this “I just want to say that I completely agree with you” and the person proceeds to rehash what has already been said. What a waste. The assumption is that if there are no objections then everyone agrees. Besides, you sound like a lazy suck up. Instead, make specific suggestions or offer to take the lead on something.

5. Introduce yourself to at least one person: Don’t get stuck in the corner, wide eyed and confused. If you are shy or nervous go up to one person and have a genuine conversation with them.

6. Make sure to do a follow up: If you’ve been asked to take the lead on something, keep people abreast of your progress. If you have learned something new, put what you have learned into practice as soon as possible and thank the person who shared. At the end of the day it shows that you not only pay attention but also that you are eager to excel.

Much to the field’s disadvantage, the image of nonprofit workers is as follows: people toiling away at soup kitchens or after school programs to eliminate a social problem that will never end or the executive director/president who has either taken an organization to new heights or plummeted an organization to new lows. I joined the nonprofit world seeking to move from the former to the latter (obviously not plummeting an organization to new lows!). However, what I have found is that there is enough diversity in professions and places to allow me to explore what I want to become and how I need to get there.

There are accountants, lawyers, fundraisers, bookkeepers, graphic designers, doctors, membership coordinators, educators, program analysts, and more. Some have PhDs or MBAs, others have professional certificates, while some have years of hands on experience. Some work in large organizations with billion dollar budgets (hospitals and universities) while others work at a small local organization with just under $500K (schools and community centers). Some focus on health and poverty while others work on the arts and non-violence. The diversity is exciting—it’s like when you realize for the first time that there is more to being successful in the working world than being a doctor or lawyer.

When I started my job I thought that I was going to be an educator working directly with youth. However, since my organization is so small I was exposed to different ways I can support youth outside of direct service. I’ve since taken a great interest in development (fundraising) and spend time talking to the development associate, taking courses, and reading about the field.

Idealist.org has a great activity to help you find your place in the nonprofit world. Collect 50 or more advertisements for jobs that interest you because of their a. mission or b. job description. After you have collected 50 or more clips, sort them by job and organization (and there will be some overlap). Look for patterns and synthesize the information: what kinds of issues interest you? What kind of approach to this issue are you drawn to? What departments in the organization piqued your interest?

This activity provided some guidance in figuring out what career tracks are best for me and the types of nonprofit organizations I would most thrive in. Further, it also allowed me to see what areas I need to strengthen in order to succeed in my area of choice.

In order to be successful, you not only have to know the context of sector you are entering but you also have to know yourself.

In an earlier post I talked about how my job doesn’t give me adequate opportunities to develop myself as a leader. My organization lacks structure and there is no motivation or inspiration resulting in me being less enthusiastic to be there.

Recently, I came across this great piece by Ryan Paugh over at Employee Evolution. He states:

It was only a year ago when I first stepped into the corporate world. Like any optimistic twentysomething, I walked into my first day and gave my new responsibilities undivided focus and attention, trying to learn the ropes and taking every chance to prove myself.

As the weeks went by, my frustrations grew. I became not such a go-getter. I just got through the days. I came to the only conclusion I could–my job sucked.

But all of my friends were complaining about their jobs, too. It was definitely the job–not just me. So I started searching online for better career options, while plugging away from 9 to 5 every day.

Right before I gave up on finding another job, in came the offer to start Brazen Careerist. After considering my options – either stay at a job I hated or try something new – I decided to take a leap. It’s been a rollercoaster ride that’s taught me the most valuable lesson of all: I never really hated my corporate job. Instead, I now know that I just hated the transition I was making into the real world.

Is it my job or is it simply where I am in life? I just graduated from college and make no money. I’m not liking Philadelphia and am trying to be there for my family who is going through financial turmoil (like most of the country). I know it sounds like I’m whining but when I take a step back I realize that maybe I am putting too much into my job.

The reality is that I am living life. I no longer have my dean to run to when I’m too stressed to get my work in on time (I miss deadlines, I get in major trouble); I don’t have my best friends living next door to make midnight runs to wawa when we’re craving a snack after hours of studying (we no longer live close to each other and have to be up early for work in the morning); I can’t just send an email to my boss telling her I can’t come in to work that day because I am not feeling well (those count as sick days!). Financial hard times aren’t washed away with an additional loan (I have my credit score to worry about); I can’t hide behind a paper when my family calls (time to talk).

I still hold that my organization needs some revamping. However, I am also benefiting from assessing non-work related issues that are affecting my view of my job and making some negotiations about the role of my job in my life.

1. My job doesn’t need to be end-all-be-all place of my development as a leader. In fact, it shouldn’t be—especially since this is my first job. I’m using it mainly as a space to feel out where I want to go professionally. For example, if it weren’t for this job I wouldn’t have realized that I love curriculum development and organizational development and plan on pursuing these fields. However, I need not wait for a development position to acquire key skills for these fields. That’s why I am enrolled in a non-profit leadership training program and am pursuing a certificate in fundraising while helping my alma mater implement a great social justice program.

2. My job shouldn’t be the end-all-be-all of my life. This is my first job! How can I not eat, sleep, and drink the office? I need to make a good impression! Well, for one: work smart, not hard. And second, boundaries are key to a healthy job life (especially those of us in nonprofit work). Work shouldn’t consume you, regardless of your position on the corporate ladder. If there is anything that I learned about college that I can apply here is that my academic life seemed more manageable and less overwhelming when I had an active and supportive social life outside of school. Yes. I mean hanging with folks who weren’t in college. Now I hang out with people who have lives beyond what their job dictates. I can better see what else is out there aside from work.

3. Company matters: the company you keep makes a huge difference in how you handle that first job. I’m a huge fan of having a “Bitch Buddy”: that person you can rant and vent to about how awful the world is. However, this shouldn’t be the only person in your life that you go to talk about your problems. It helps to have positive people in your life who can show you the good in a situation and who teach you the value of letting the chaos of life roll off your back. When it comes to work, I was only talking to people who hated their jobs. Now I see how silly that was.

My main complaint about my internship is that I don’t have much to do. Seriously—it has gotten to the point where I’ve looked at so much YouTube, Myspace, and Facebook that I turn off my computer and prefer to sit in front of a dark screen.

When I talk to my friends about this, many tell me to take the lead. It’s suggested that since there obviously isn’t anything to do I should make my own projects in order to make myself shine.

In general, I go above and beyond my job description with regard to my current position. Because there is so much free time and flexibility, I am able to cultivate and manage the program in a way that stretches me. I am developing a nice portfolio of lesson plans, implementing various events and opportunities for my students and their parents, and am establishing wonderful partnerships.

However, that’s where it ends. When it comes to leadership with in an organization, it isn’t about starting things for the sake of starting things; it’s about developing key leadership skills that will flourish and result in me actually learning something. There is a difference between challenges that arise in any organization and red-flags that indicate trying to do something new in your company is simply not worth it.

1. Your co-workers don’t inspire you—personally or professionally. Not only is there a great deal of animosity and distrust at my organization, but also people aren’t invested in the organization’s mission. There is a lot of gossiping and laziness that makes it difficult for the organization to run efficiently let alone starting a new project.

2. The organization doesn’t function well internally. We have cut back programs and laid people off because we are running out of money. The board and upper management are not transparent and have very different views of what the organization’s mission is and how it should be fulfilled. Anything that I would want to try will most likely not be supported when, realistically, support is needed.

3. You just don’t want to. While it would be easy to do what my supervisor is supposed to be doing, why should I? I have no desire to obtain his position and any accomplishments I make will be in his name.

It comes down to the environment. I am realistic about the fact that I thrive in places that have structure and the people are not only invested in the organization but are also supportive of each other. In the mean time, I’ll excel at what I do, focus on the my non-work related accomplishments and interests, and wait until it is time to move on.

Update: Feeling like this place is not ideal for cultivating me as a leader is also a sign that maybe I should quit. Go figure.