Reflecting on Service and Community on Veterans Day

What has always stood out to me about Veterans Day was the silence from the Veterans in my life. When I would come up with ways to celebrate I was met with appreciation, but generally frustration and some confusion over why people suddenly want to celebrate and discuss Vets. This is partly because of the way we, as a nation, look at Veterans and war.

In war, there are no unwounded soldiers. ~José Narosky

We have a weird cycle when it comes to discussing Veterans. The speeches come, as do the parades, the monuments, and the warm and proud feeling of sharing a country with men and women who risk their lives so that I can enjoy mine. Then the celebrations subside. The statistics about the nightmares, depression, alcoholism, and suicide that plague our Vets all but disappear until someone shoves it in our faces and even then, we are too stunned to act. The issues affecting veterans sometimes feel too big: I am not part of the military and I have not seen war. I do not know what the issues are and I do not feel like I can help beyond saying “I support you.”

And make no mistake, that support goes a long way. But what is needed is a consistent voice in times of war and peace that remains deeply committed to preventing war at all costs and when war appears inevitable, support for the physical, emotional, and mental well being of soldiers is available at every step of the way–from the time they sign up to the time they return home.

And we must move quickly for this is not a matter of pity, this is a matter of justice. Pity allows for personal removal from the issue, condescension, and an unwillingness to see strength in sacrifice (afterall, who would actually want to be a soldier except for the desperate and lonely?) Yet when we are moved by justice we see the talents and treasures that each person brings that should be utilized in creating a better world and a connectedness that says “Your well being is tied up with mine–I cannot allow you to suffer.”

“As we express our gratitude, we must never forget that the highest appreciation is not to utter words, but to live by them” ~ John F. Kennedy

So on Veterans Day, as we honor those who have served, I am making the following committments:

1. I will not trivilaize the importance of mental health and emotional support: You are not “crazy,” “weak,” or “stupid.” I recognize that my language and my attitude have an impact on your ability to get the support you need.

2. I will integrate your needs into my work: “All Volunteer Force”,” a report released today, highlights the desire of young veterans to volunteer when they return and how those who have volunteered have better transitions back. As someone who has devoted my life to service through nonprofit work, I know that the desire to give back is a crucial asset for social change. I will make a conscious effort to include you in the ongoing conversations and activism regarding about social change, social innovation, and volunteerism. And I will encourage my collegues to do the same.

3. I will support causes that reach out to you: I have always admired CUNY (City University of New York) for their Veteran outreach initiatives. However, I am blown away all the time by how many people, moved by your stories and experiences, decide to start new programs and organizations. Civic Enterprises in their “All Volunteer Force” report outline 14 ways we can tap into your talents at the national, state, and local levels.

4. Most of all, I will listen: Although I consider myself an ally, I do not know your story and I cannot tell it. But I can at the very least listen, share, and ensure that your voice is heard.

What other commitments can we make?

Aunt Cheryl, Uncle Donald, Larry, Jerry, and Jasmine–thank you for your service abroad and your continuing service at home.

Keeping My Fire

Elisa Ortiz recently wrote a great piece about her journey into the nonprofit sector.  It got me thinking about mine and the challenges I am facing.  So for this Nonprofit Milleninal Bloggers Alliance post, I’m reflecting on why I’m in the sector.

I didn’t get into the nonprofit sector because of a desire to feel warm inside.  In fact becoming a nonprofiteer was never a goal of mine.  I got involved in social justice work because I was angry.  I was angry at the blatant inequalities I saw every day on my way to my posh prep school in downtown Brooklyn from my family’s tiny apartment in the projects on the other side of the borough.   It was blessing, of course, to be given such an opportunity but it didn’t come without challenges, primarily not really feeling like I fit in anywhere.

College was an escape from the tension and an opportunity for reflection.   I searched endlessly for stories that could articulate my feelings of confusion, frustration, and outrage.  I found them and discovered ways to put my passion into action—volunteerism, research, and connecting with people from various backgrounds to refine my work.  Education was my saving grace and I work to increase access to those who need it most.

Yet oddly enough the more I work in the nonprofit sector, the more removed from my original passion I feel.  The language I use is no longer for the sole purpose of exploring my experiences.  Now, I’m describing someone else’s experiences for someone else’s use.   It almost feels other worldly.  Suddenly I’m a professional which means conversations on branding, development, and other stuff that gets very old very fast.  I’m writing about poorblackinnercityyouth using language that is very distant as if I wasn’t one of those poorblackinnercityyouth just a few years ago.

Where is the fire that brought me to the sector?  Why can’t I integrate it into my work instead of it being a separate private aspect of my identity that simply fuels it?  I came across this powerful article a few days ago which states that as more nonprofits reach out to their poor constituents to see what the issues are, they neglect the employees who were poor and may have their own stories to tell.  Have we considered how these conversations might renew commitment, shed light on different perspectives and ideas?

Or am I here to attend conferences on branding and the like?

Addressing the Lack of Diversity in Progressive Conversations

Today during the 80 Million Strong Summit for Young American Jobs someone mentioned that we need to remember “the empty chair in the room;” the person/group who, various reasons, is absent from this conversation but who nonetheless has a stake in the conversation.

This scene is all too common.   Our nation’s progressive conversations are usually homogenous.  In fact our facilitator commented that this was the first time in all of the years he had been working on this issue that the percentage of people of color participation was in the double digits.  How can we address the lack of educational, class, race, ability, and sexual orientation diversity?

Go to where they are: Figure out where the communities you want to reach are and meet them there.  For example, if we realize that there are still many communities that don’t use the internet as their sole means of communicating, then why use that as your only form of outreach?   Organizations that serve young people from various backgrounds are plentiful—you just have to find them and meet them where they are.

Get connectors on your team: It’s not enough to just go to people; it helps to have members of that community who know that community well to relay the information.  Connectors not only know tons of people but they get what moves people and what doesn’t—they are the pulse of the community so it helps to find them and explore how you can work together.

Create a welcoming climate: Not everyone views social change in the same way or has the same priorities or values when it comes to a particular issue.  It’s important to have a space for frank discussion, set grounds for inclusion, and build on each other’s ideas.

Learn about groups on your own: While it is important to include various voices, you shouldn’t wait or expect for a member of a particular group to do all of the talking.   Read about and work closely with various groups before and after conversations to inform your own perspective.

If you are going to speak don’t romanticize or pity: Not every group is wallowing in misery, waiting for some magical superhero to rescue them.  Many are working hard on their own to address issues affecting them.  While it is important to address disparities, equally important is resiliency; what techniques are people employing to cope and surpass their surroundings.  Putting strength at the center of the conversation instead of deficiencies ensures a group’s agency is being respected.

Taking a Break

Hey fam!

I’m taking a little break from blogging.  I need to clear my head, work on my summer schedule, and some side projects.  I’ll be back next week!

You can still follow me on twitter @ajlovesya or shoot me an email ajlovesya [at] gmail [dot] com if you have any questions.

Allison

Buying Local in Brooklyn and a Blogger Challenge

I came across this great piece in Idealist in NYC about the 3/50 Project, a national initiative to get people to spend $50/month at three local businesses. Interestingly, I was just reading about the a couple in Chicago that is trying to support local black businesses by only buying from black owned businesses for an entire year. Buying local keeps money in communities and strengthens them so it’s great to see people getting involved.

I’ve decided to share some of my favorite local spots in Brooklyn. I struggled with this because I buy local far less often than I should and when I do buy local I don’t remember the name of the store! It’s usually “yeah go to that store on the corner over there.” So please forgive me for not having detailed info about the places!

Brooklyn Heights/Downtown Brooklyn:

Court Street Supplies (for office supplies), La Traviata on Montague street (Italian restaurant/cafe), Book Court (bookstore on Court Street), Mega Beauty Supply Store (don’t know the exact name but two floors of beauty supplies and hair supplies and wigs! on Fulton Mall Jay Street).

Bay Ridge:

Pizza Wagon on 86th and 5th Ave . Best pizza I’ve had, hands down; Nouvelle on 87th and 3rd Ave Asian-French fusion. Sounds like a weird mix but it is spectacular! Go for the spicy tuna avocado salad; Lucky Nail Salon 87th and 5th Ave $15 for pedicure and manicure—quick and well done, plus they do wonders with my eyebrows.

Bed-Stuy:

Fat Albert Warehouse on Broadway, it’s mega discount store with every item you could imagine at low prices; Hair salon on Broadway around the corner from Fat Albert–again I don’t remember the name but the owner’s name is Lou. My entire family went there until we moved (and even now, sometimes we will make the trip back to the Stuy for our hair!) but the prices are great and the quality is amazing.

East New York:

Sasso African Hair Braiding on Mother Gaston Boulevard: I’ve been going there since I was 12 for my braids. These women have serious talent.

While these initiatives are great, what can we do to make these businesses more competitive and help them keep their doors open?  What do they need?

I would love it if some of my favorite bloggers shared their favorite local spots.  So I’m tagging a couple to blog about places in their city/neighborhood that they love!  Make sure you link back to this post so I know you’re participating.

• @rosettathurman
• @aroundharlem
• @ameliapontes
• @kathrinoutloud
• @frausallybenz
• @paughginney
• @meloncamp
• @meganschiebe